In an effort to reduce how much crap I’ll have to take with me when I move again here in six or seven months, I started going through all my geeky tech dork shite that I’ve accumulated over the years (and by years, I mean lots and lots of years, apparently). Why I held on to most of this stuff I don’t know, but I’m afraid I inherited the Accumulate And Never Throw Away Trait from my grandmother, who, God bless her soul, saved those plastic four-cup holders you get at the drive thru. Saved like 400 of ‘em, she did. And died without ever getting any good out of them.

I digress.

Anyway, here’s an inventory of most, but not all, of the electronic crap I’ve accumulated… (btw, none of this in use - this is all stuff I had in boxes).

2 PC keyboards, 2 mice, 1 PC microphone, 4 surge protectors

1 wireless router, 1 DSL modem (I have cable internet - makes sense), 1 Sonicwall “Internet Security Appliance”, 1 carbon monoxide detector, 1 RF modulator, 1 set of TV RABBIT EARS. The latter in case, y’know, all the cable stations simultaneously go out and I reaaaaaally need to catch that rerun of “Junkin’” on TBS.

11, yes, ELEVEN, serial cables. You know who uses serial cables still? North Korea and public libraries, that’s who. One of these cables is so long I could hook up a 486 on the Sanford Stadium bridge and print to a dot-matrix printer at the foot of Uga I’s grave.

8 telephone cables. In case I ever want to have 2 or 3 phones per room.

8 USB cables.

6 power cords, and 13 (!!) AC power adapters. AC power adapters are the rabbits of the electronics world. I swear I only had 2 or 3 like a month ago.

6 RCA to 1/8″ cables, 4 ethernet cables (including one long enough to encircle the Georgia Dome 9 times - I measured), 3 car cigarette lighter power adapters, 2 headphones (kind of surprising - I would have thought I’d have 22 or 23 headphones by now).

1 first-gen Playstation 2, 1 internal PC CD-ROM drive, another PC mouse, another ethernet cable long enough to reach from the Sanford Stadium bridge to the Georgia Dome, and 1 subwoofer. Broken, obviously.

Finally… 1 Playstation (note the lack of a “2″ or “3″), 2 Playstation controllers, 1 PC joystick, 1 AA battery recharger, 1 Belkin Tunecast FM transmitter, 1 Sony Discman, 1 Philips Expanium CD/MP3 player, 1 ZIP drive and 3 ZIP disks (they’re comin’ back in style! Seriously!), 3 1/4″ guitar cables, 1 microphone cable, 1 SanDisk CompactFlash card reader, and, in case you’re building a computer from scratch… 2 PCI serial cards, 2 PCI video cards, 2 PCI sound cards, and 1 PCI ethernet card.

*Phew*

I’m waiting to hear from the Smithsonian. Or someone to liberate me of this sheeeeit.