I was wrong.

Kyle MacDonald is a genius. A genius beyond any genius history has ever bestowed upon us. Albert Einstein? Pshaw. Jonas Salk? Whatevs. Curtis Armstrong? Close, but not quite.

No, as of today Kyle MacDonald is a genius among geniuses. See, he took this plain ol’ standard issue red paperclip and has traded with people in the hopes of one day getting a house out of the deal.

He traded the paperclip for a pen shaped like a fish. He traded the pen for a freaky doorknob. He traded the doorknob for a portable camping stove. He traded the stove for a gas generator. He traded the generator for a neon Budweiser sign and a keg of beer (an instant party). He traded that for a snowmobile. He traded the snowmobile for an all-expenses paid trip to Yahk, British Columbia. He traded the trip for a moving van. He traded the van for one year’s rent at a place in Phoenix. He traded the year’s rent for a recording contract. He traded the contract for an afternoon with freakin’ Alice Cooper. He traded the afternoon with freakin’ Alice Cooper for a KISS snow globe.

Not really a fair trade, that last one. But oh no… turns out Corbin Bernsen is a ha-uge snow globe collector. So Kyle traded the snow globe with Bernsen for a paid, speaking role in his upcoming movie, Donna On Demand. And now he’s taking offers for the movie role, and man, some of the offers are dare I say sa-weeeet.

So kudos, to you, Mr. Kyle MacDonald. And all this time, I thought Canadiens were simple-minded folk who liked beer and said “ey” a lot. Man, was I wrong.