About

  • You can contact me at david (dot) akins (at) gmail (dot) com.
  • I’m 27 28 29 30 31(eep!) 32.
  • I share a birthday with Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Lee, and that guy that played Booger in “Revenge Of The Nerds”.
  • I am a Sagittarius, the most philosophical of all the signs. Anyway, I don’t believe in it. I think it’s a bunch of bullshit, myself.” (Jim Morrison)
  • I love the Georgia Bulldogs, and they will kick your team’s ass. If by some miracle they don’t kick your team’s ass it’s because they felt sorry for your sorry-ass team and let them win.
  • I hate people. People, not individuals, mind you. You’re OK.
  • I’m a Christian libertarian. I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your own home and with whom. If there is a God and he’s got his rules, then His punishment when you die will be worse than anything government can devise, so keep that in mind. And shut up and leave me alone.
  • I once drank 20 ounces of cold turkey gravy from a styrofoam cup for $20.00.
  • I love playing softball and trivia (my nickname in high school was Cliff Clavin… I hope I don’t have to explain that to you).
  • I think love is bitchin’.
  • I’m the youngest of four boys. The brother closest to me in age is 12 years older. My parents insist I wasn’t a mistake.
  • I like using “buttnugget” as an insult.
  • I’ve got Scottish (Alba Go Bragh!) and French blood in me. And not the pansy, white-flag flying, UN-fellating, snail-eating French, either. I’m talking about the red-blooded, Swamp Fox of the Revolution, screw-you-French-government-we’re-taking-our-religion-to-America, Huguenot French.
  • Thunderstorms scare me.
  • If you’ve known me for any extended period of time, you have seen me eat a filthy, disgusting amount of food that no sane person would consume in one sitting at least once.
  • I don’t get women sometimes.
  • I get beer.
  • When giving advice, I tell people the truth, even when I know it’s not what he or she wants to hear.
  • I broke my leg in half when I was two from my high chair tipping over. Dad says I fell. I say I was pushed.
  • I represent the A.T.L.
  • I am not done.