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Wednesday Not-So-Random-Ten: Kickin’ The Brits’ Asses Edition

Holidays in the middle of the week are weird. You can’t really do too much with them since they’re bookended by the requirements of your (if you’re me) 9-to-5. Not that I’m complaining. Days off for something unpainful and untragic have been in short supply lately.

These (Not-So-)Random Tens are a good way to ease back into posting; they don’t require much preparation, study, intellectual delving, or thought. Perfect for 6:45 in the morning on a holiday.

Enjoy your Fourth, everyone.

  1. “4th of July”, Soundgarden
  2. “4th of July”, Voodoo Shoehorn (a one-off band consisting partly of Billy Pilgrim’s Andrew Hyra and Kristian Bush, covering X)
  3. “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)”, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
  4. “Independence Day”, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
  5. “I’m Afraid Of Americans”, David Bowie
  6. “American Pie”, Don McLean
  7. “America”, Neil Diamond
  8. “Last Boat To America”, David Gray
  9. “America”, Simon and Garfunkel
  10. and, of course,

  11. “America, F**k Yeah”, Trey Parker (From Team America, World Police) Note: I will reward anyone who can find a karaoke version of this song and get it to me.

Society is produced by our wants, and government by wickedness; the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections, the latter negatively by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first is a patron, the last a punisher. Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil. — Thomas Paine

Your Friday Morning, iTunes-driven, Random Ten

I have been converted. I have switched to iTunes as my mp3 player of choice. I noticed that with both Winamp and Windows Media Player if I dragged a folder with 11,000 songs into their respective playlists, they only displayed about 3/4 of the tunes. iTunes worked, so I’m with Apple for now.

Oooh, something else: Firefox users (that should be ALL of you), check out this awesome extension, FoxyTunes. It allows you to control the media player of your choice right from the Firefox toolbar. It’s got a ton of customization options and web search features (eg if Jay-Z is currently playing, click one button and it takes you to his Wikipedia entry). Check it out.

OK, the Ten:

1. The Rolling Stones - “Hot Stuff”

I went from having maybe 25 Stones’ songs to 433 (thanks, iTunes!) in one day, courtesy of my buddy and former roommate, The Croz. He’s got every record and a bunch of bootlegged live stuff too. Not all the stuff is hot, though.

2. Radiohead - “Go To Sleep”

One of the best songs off of Hail To The Thief. Uh, that’s all.

3. Stevie Ray Vaughan - “Love Struck Baby”

*Sigh* He’s gone. John Mayer still walks the earth. No justice, man. No justice.

4. Buffalo Tom - “For All To See”

From the compilation album “No Alternative”.

5. Creedence Clearwater Revival - “Before You Accuse Me”

This was one of the first bluesy songs I learned to play on guitar - before I learned that if I could play this (E, A, B7) I could pretty much play any blues song. Just not like Stevie Ray Vaughan.

6. U2 - “Stuck In A Moment”

U2 was the official band of the World Cup. They also helped remind us that racism is bad. I just had a vision of Zidane headbutting Materazzi in a montage to this song.

7. Bush - “The Chemicals Between Us”

Does any frontman have it easier than Gavin? Have you ever heard even the slightest mean thing about him? Bush hasn’t even released an album in years, but he’s coasting on his money and, undoubtedly, his wife’s. Must be nice.

8. Dr. Dre / Snoop Doggy Dogg - “Bitches Ain’t Shit”

From The Chronic, the album that brought gangsta to the white suburbs en masse. A lot of guys at my high school never understood that owning this album doesn’t automatically make you a hard OG. Oh, wiggas. I miss you.

9. Stevie Ray Vaughan - “Change It”

*Sigh* He’s gone. Carrot Top still walks the earth. No justice, man. No justice.

10. Television’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 - “Daniel Boone”

Weird. I could’ve sworn there was a verse that went “Daniel Boone was a man / he was a big man / but the bear was bigger…” something something. Guess I was wrong.

Friday Random Ten

1. Queen - “I Want To Break Free”

Queen was better when they really rocked (see “Stone Cold Crazy”), but despite the rather keyboard-laden foundation of this tune, it doesn’t detract from the reality that Freddie Mercury, God love ‘im, was a great singer/frontman.

2. Rush - “Freewill”

This is shaping up as Friday Random Ten: Classic Rock Edition. One of the most libertarian songs from the most libertarian lyricists, Neil Peart. See also: “Tom Sawyer”.

3. Eminem - “Mockingbird”

He’s good. Hate him if you want, but he’s good. I prefer his chopping-up-his-mother-and-urinating-on-her-dismembered-pieces stuff to this lovey-dovey tune. But still, he’s good.

4. Laurie Lewis - “The Refugee”

One of those where-the-hell-did-this-come-from? tunes. I have no idea who Laurie Lewis is. Let’s see if allmusic.com can help:

“Laurie Lewis learned to play the violin as a child in the San Francisco Bay Area. As a teenager in the 1960s, she immersed herself in the city’s thriving folk scene and fell in love with the innovative bluegrass of Flatt & Scruggs, the Stanley Brothers, and especially Doc Watson. She won numerous fiddling contests during the 1970s and was in and out of assorted area combos. Together with friend Kathy Kallick, Lewis co-founded the pioneering bluegrass group Good Ol’ Persons in 1975 and remained with the popular group until 1979.”

That doesn’t even come close to explaining how I have this song. It’s kinda a pretty bluegrassy tune, though.

5. OutKast - “Kim & Cookie (Interlude)”

And I quote…

Anncr: And now, kim and cookie.
Cookie: Ring-Ring
Kim: say hello cookie!
Cookie: hello
Kim: girl i got somethin to tell ya
Cookie: spill it girl spill it
kim: remember ol boi, at the club…
cookie: from last night?
kim: last night!
cookie: wassup
Kim: went home with the mothafucka, now i’m thinkin i’m feelin’ to goddamn get my ass to’ up!
background singers: to’ up!
kim: but girl
cookie: what.
kim: dick so short
background singers: short!
kim: came quick, he got his, i ain’t get mines. i’m like fuck!
background singers: fuck!
kim: you know you talkin’ all this goddamn shit and he ain’t shit!
cookie: girl you done got you a mothafuckin minute man!
kim: a minute mothafuckin man
background singers: mothafuckin minute man!
kim: but it’s all good you hear me? cause before i goddamn left this
mothafucka, i hit this mothafucka up for erythang you hear me! i’m talkin bout wallet, i’m talkin bout credit cards, money. and you what i was gona hit him up for his goddamn pistol but i ain’t know how many mothafuckn bodies he had on that mothafucka you feel me!
background singers: i feel ya!
cookie: well it’s allllllll goooooood!
BREAK!

Moving. Truly.

6. Johnny Cash - “Sing It Pretty, Sue”

I couldn’t see myself marrying a celebrity (nor could I see a celebrity marrying me), but after watching “Walk The Line”, I thought “Y’know, I could totally go for that Reese Witherspoon. And Kelly Clarkson. Definitely Kelly Clarkson. I mean, jeez, I watched a 1/2 hour Proactiv infomercial with her in it. That’s gotta mean something, right? Right? OK, inner monologue, here’s where you stop. Thanks.”

7. Smashing Pumpkins - “Hummer”

Huh huh.

“Hummer”.

Heheh.

8. Cake - “Walk On By”

Haven’t heard much from these guys lately. And if their website’s “news” page is any indication, they’re too busy up on their eco-political soapbox to y’know, actually make music. That said, the bit about coffee drinking reducing the risk of cirrhosis is nice to hear. Pardon me, I have to go pour my third cup o’ the mornin’.

9. Cake - “Alpha Beta Parking Lot”

Haven’t heard much from these guys lately. And if their website’s “news” page is any indication, they’re too busy up on their eco-political soapbox to y’know, actually make music. That said, the bit about coffee drinking reducing the risk of cirrhosis is nice to hear. Pardon me, I have to go pour my 8th cup o’ the mornin’.

10. Bob Dylan - “I Shall Be Free”

Paste Music/Magazine recently released their top 100 living songwriters, and to no one’s surprise at all, Dylan was number 1. There were some pleasant surprises making the list, including Andre3000/Big Boi, Nick Cave, Public Enemy.

The Athens, GA connection was well-represented with Drive-By Truckers, Vic Chessnutt, Bill Mallonee (Vigilantes of Love), and some guys named Stipe, Berry, Buck, and Mills.

But alas, Paste. I would be remiss to not mention a glaring omission to your list (not only to your list, but to your reader-submitted top-100 as well. An omission so mind-blowing that I can only assume that since the list is of the greatest living songwriters, you figured he’d be dead before the issue went to print. Don’t underestimate an Irishman, Paste.

I’m speaking of course, of Shane MacGowan. The immortal, the irrepresible, the intellectually stimulating, Shane MacGowan.

Shame, Paste. Shame, shame, shame.

Shane

This Top Ten’s for you, Shane.

Saturday Morning Random Ten, NFL Draft Edition

1. With the first pick in this year’s draft, the Houston Texans select “Friday Night” by G. Love And Special Sauce.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: A shock-bomb is dropped right off the bat as Houston takes the Philly trio. This is nonetheless a solid selection as G. and Co. have several solid albums under their belt. But will the Texans regret selecting…

2. With the second pick in this year’s draft, the New Orleans Saints select “Mr. Television Man (Live)” by the Josh Joplin Band.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Surprising that this pick fell into the Saints’ lap. Not only is the Josh Joplin Band one of the most energetic, exciting bands to come out of the Atlanta area in some time, but this track actually has Dave Akins clearly going “Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh” in the background. Josh plus Dave equals upsideability. Huuuge upsideability.

3. With the third pick in this year’s draft, the Tennessee Titans select “Wrapped Around Your Finger” by The Police.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: The Titans got exactly what they wanted here - a Hall-Of-Fame trio with a penchant for repeating the same thing over and over and over. Aditionally, Sting can apparently fuck for like, hours, so you really can’t go wrong here.

4. With the fourth pick in this year’s draft, the New York Jets select “Coney Island Baby” by Tom Waits.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Maybe a little early for Waits, but still a decent pick. The Jets could’ve probably traded down a few spots and still gotten this mournful, drunken lullaby by the master of mournful, drunken lullabyes. Being a home-town guy helps though. Springsteen would’ve also been a good selection here.

5. With the fifth pick in this year’s draft, the Green Bay Packers select “Talk Show Host” by Radiohead.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Coup of coups at pick five. Thom Yorke alone has enough angst to carry this team back to the playoffs. Big question mark here is, Can cohesion exist between depression-riddled leftist Yorke and good-ole-Southern boy Brett Favre?

6. With the sixth pick in this year’s draft, the San Francisco 49′ers select “I Asked For Water (He Gave Me Gasoline)” by Lucinda Williams.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: If you’re going to take a woman this early, Lucinda’s a great pick; great attitude, can hang with the guys, drink like a fish, and isn’t afraid to drop an f-bomb every now and then.

7. With the seventh pick in this year’s draft, the Oakland Raiders select “WDAV Radio - Joey Fights” by Dave Akins (age 12) and Ben Crosby (age 11).

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Once again, the Raiders have proven their ineptitude on Draft Day. A bad bad pick. Todd Marinovich bad.

8. With the eigth pick in this year’s draft, the Buffalo Bills select “The Promise” by Tracy Chapman.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: The Bills really needed a big presence on the defensive line. Instead they take a balladeer nearly ten years gone from falling off the map. Buffalo will regret this pick. Just not as much as the Raiders will regret theirs.

9, With the ninth pick in this year’s draft, the Detroit Lions select “King Of Comedy” by R.E.M..

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Looking back at the last few first round selections by Detroit, it’s good to see the Lions not go with an offensive pick. Like “Pop That Pussy”.

10. With the tenth pick in this year’s draft, the Arizona Cardinals select “Proceed” by The Roots.

Mel Kiper, Jr.: Great selection here. ?uestlove’s excellent percussion work will blend perfectly with Fitzgerald, Boldin, James and company.

Friday Random Ten

  1. R.E.M. - “Disturbance At The Heron House” - Michael Stipe has admitted that almost all of his early songs, like this one, were just a bunch of lyrical nonsense. And all this time I thought the “followers of chaos” was some deep concept I was just too stupid to understand.
  2. The Cars - “Touch And Go” - The Cars are the latest band to go back on tour with someone other than the original lead singer. Journey got some unknown dude, The Doors got Ian Astbury of The Cult (forgivable in this case), Queen got Paul Rodgers (Free, Bad Company - and unforgivable), and now The Cars are touring with Todd “Bang The Drum All Day” Rundgren. *shiver*
  3. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - “Hallelujah” - Poor ol’ Nick still doesn’t get as much credit here in the States as he should. Probably because 1) his music isn’t “commercially popular” and 2) he’s neither a hip-hop artist nor in his 20’s.
  4. Dr. Dre feat. Bushwick Bill, Rage, Kurupt, RBX, and Snoop Dogg - “Stranded On Death Row” - Bill has been, is, and will forever be my favorite rappin’ midget.
  5. The Allman Brothers Band - “One Way Out (live)” - One of my favorite blues jam tunes of all time. Gimme the bros in their prime over Phish or Widespread every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
  6. Warren Zevon - “She’s Too Good For Me” - If you ever just need a good, purging, cathartic cry, find out the next time VH1 is showing their documentary on Zevon’s making of “The Wind” in the midst of his battle with cancer.
  7. Bruce Springsteen - “The Rising” - Springsteen’s the Man. That’s all.
  8. Ludacris - “Teamwork” - ‘How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Luda-pop?’. Just your usual lyrical tribute to le menage a trois.
  9. Bruce Springsteen - “Thunder Road (live)” - Um, lemme check… yep, still the Man.
  10. The Statler Brothers - “Flowers On The Wall” - No lyric better captures the futility of man’s struggle against his own mortality and his environment better than ‘playing solitaire ’til dawn/with a deck of fifty-one’. Powerful, powerful stuff. Bonus points for dropping in Captain Kangaroo…

“This Ten’s for you, Bunny Rabbit”

Your Friday Random Ten (Still Unemployed Edition)

Since I’ve had quite a bit of extra time on my hands lately, coupled with the fact my new PC has over 10x the storage space of my old POS, I went ahead and burned just about every CD I own to my hard drive. Whether or not this makes for a nuttier, wackier Friday Ten… we’ll see:

1) Radiohead, “Exit Music (For A Film)”
2) Johnny Cash, “I’m A Drifter”
3) Sheryl Crow, “I Shall Believe”
4) Johnny Cash, “Bird On A Wire”
5) Paul Simon, “You Can Call Me Al”
6) Run DMC, “Rock Box”
7) Rancid, “The Way I Feel”
8) Beck, “Soul Suckin’ Jerk”
9) AC/DC, “Ride On”
10) Train, “Drops Of Jupiter (99x Live X 7)”

Your Yeah-I’m-Still-Alive Friday Random Ten

Nothing to say… well, except, I guess, “Happy Birthday Josh“.

1) The Rolling Stones, “Always Suffering”
2) Boston, “Something About You”
3) System Of A Down, “Aerials”
4) Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan / Peter Gabriel, “Taboo”
5) Elliott Smith, “King’s Crossing”
6) Bukka White, “Strange Place Blues”
7) Mark Mothersbaugh, “Pagoda’s Theme”
8) Josh Joplin Group, “Camera One (Live on Letterman)”
9) Alison Krauss & Union Station, “Blue Trail Of Sorrow”
10) Fleetwood Mac, “Gold Dust Woman”

2005’s Final Random Ten

1) Bruce Springsteen, “Nebraska”
2) Paul Simon, “Mother and Child Reunion”
3) The Rolling Stones, “Not Fade Away”
4) Billy Pilgrim, “I Won’t Tell”
5) R.E.M., “Radio Free Europe”
6) The Beatles, “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”
7) Toby Keith, “I Wanna Talk About Me” (Worst. Song. Of. All. Time.)
8) Kanye West, “School Spirit Skit 2″
9) Radiohead, “Exit Music (For A Film)”

Y’know what? I’m gon’ leave it at 9, just because closing out aught-five with Radiohead is the thing to do, you smell me? And what a closer it is; “We hope your rules and wisdom choke you.”

Indeed. That’s profound; And it applies to someone. Somewhere. So dig the heaviness.

Happy New Year.

Your (Black) Friday See-You-Later-20’s-It’s-Been-Real Random 30

If you notice the time of this posting you’ll notice it’s rather on the early side for a day in which I don’t have to be at work due to the Thanksgiving holiday. I was awakened at 6:15 this morning to the sounds of helicopters circling and hovering outside my window. An escaped convict? Horrible accident on 400? No. Black Friday. The “busiest shopping day of the year.” The helicopters were news choppers, hovering over Lenox Mall and Phipps Plaza, covering the masses of people below converging on the local Mecca of commercialism. I’m reminded of the overhead shots of the shopping mall in the remake of “Dawn Of The Dead”. It’s early, and I’m rambling. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

My final random music list of my 20’s - dare I stretch it to 30? I dare. I promise nothing. Coffee is good. Inspire me, caffeine…

1) System Of A Down - “Suite-Pee”

When I was at UGA, my buddy Kevin (who was working as a rep for Sony at the time) and I got to go to the now-defunct Cotton Club in Atlanta for a double-bill show with two relatively unknown bands: System Of A Down and Incubus. System didn’t play - the singer was having throat problems or was pissed off about American involvement in (insert backass insignificant country here) or something. Kev and I did get to kick the bass player and DJ from Incubus’s asses in pool, though. So that was fun.

2) Cake - “Cool Blue Reason”

My bro Chuk took me to see Cake at the Roxy one year - for my birthday. I wanna say it was my 25th? Or was that my 26th? Or was that Soundgarden?

3) Daryle Singletary - “You Ain’t Heard Nothin’ Yet”

Ah, the legendary Daryle Singletary (file under: How’d This Get Here?) - I suppose I could adopt this as my mantra for my blossoming music career, maturing into a more disciplined guitar player and more experienced songwriter, but that’d be gay.

4) Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals - “The Drugs Don’t Work (Live)”

I love Ben. This is a great cover of Richard Ashcroft’s (lead singer of the Verve, who did “Bittersweet Symphony” and then got sued because the strings part in that song was ripped off from a Rolling Stones tune and they hardly got any money for it and the money they did get [especially the dough from Nike] they gave to charity) best song. Ashcroft had to edit the lyrics before it could be released - the original goes, “The drugs don’t work, they just make me worse” - the safe-for-radio edit? “The drugs don’t work, they just make you worse.” Yeah, I don’t get it either.

5) Dan Rather - “Election Night 2000″

A collection of Rather’s nonsensical quips from the controversial evening in the Presidential election. Dan Rather: he makes hokey, nonsensical blathering entertaining.

6) The Rolling Stones - “Pretty Beat Up”

How I feel. Happy Birthday to me. Ugh.

7) Interpol - “Roland”

If you don’t like Interpol, you’re stupid. I know this because every online “indie” magazine told me so.

8) Radiohead - “Lewis (Mistreated)”

The one band I haven’t seen live that I really really really want to see. U2’s great; I love U2. But they’re not the best band in the world. Sorry, Bono.

9) Collective Soul - “She Said”

The A.T.L.’s own. Not a great band, but they can lay claim to one thing: supposedly they have had more songs in regular rotation at the same time on radio stations nationwide than any other band. Thanks to my buddy Jonathan, I can’t hear this anymore without thinking he’s singing “Like chicken and shrimp-fried rice, she said…”

10) Stevie Wonder - “Overjoyed”

The two greatest things Stevie Wonder ever did? 1) “Superstition” and 2) the SNL camera commercial. If you’ve never seen it, find it. Watch it. Laugh. Blind people are HI-larious!

Stretching this to 30 might’ve been a bad idea… Must… fight… urge… to… delete… this… stupid… post… eeergghh…

Read the rest of this entry »

Your Pre-Tigger-Beatdown Friday Random Ten

Off to Athens in a bit for the game that, by all accounts, determines whether my Dawgs get a shot at the SEC Championship. Interesting thought: we win tomorrow and our remaining schedule for the season could be played out in Athens, Atlanta, Atlanta, and Atlanta, respectively. Lose, and it’s probably another Capital One-cum-Outback-cum-Peach Bowl battle against Wisconsin or Purdue. Again.

I was all ready to delve reaaaaally deep into this game, but Doug over at Hey Jenny Slater dropped this post earlier today that easily bests anything I could’ve laid down in my post-work-pre-game haze. Although “AU: Get Into My Car. Who, AU? Yes AU; Get Into My Car” would’ve been infinitely funnier as a post title, though not quite as apropros.

Bizzaro weekend in the SEC for sure; We’re pulling for Steve Spurrier and Auburn’s hoping ‘Bama beats LSU. Crazy enough - last thing we need is for Tennessee to have five losses at this point in the season. That would be the seventh sign, for sure.

Oh wait.

Anyhoo, let’s see if this Random Ten tells us anything about the weekend ahead and, more importantly, the showdown twixt the Hedges…

1) Yvonne Elliman - “If I Can’t Have You”

Um, WTF? I couldn’t figure out what this was until I realized it’s from the “Big Daddy” Soundtrack which is ripped, in its entirety, to my hard drive. So how does this tie in to the weekend? Eh… it’s my love song to bourbon? Sound good? OK, let’s go with that. And move on. Skiiiip. *click*

2) The Rolling Stones - “Hold On To Your Hat”

A perfect descriptive term for the game tomorrow. Also, sometimes it gets windy in Sanford this time of year and you might lose your hat. So hold on to it. This Public Service Announcement brought to you by Dave Akins.

3) Elliot Smith - “Needle In The Hay”

Lessee… a pretty talented guy who made the mistake of killing himself. There’s a Tommy Tuberville metaphor in there somewhere.

4) Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson - “Folsom Prison Blues”

A tailgate standard pretty much anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon. Could “When I hear that whistle blowin’ I hang my head and cry” refer to TT’s response to Auburn’s 10th false start of the game, due in part to the Sanford crowd? Man, this interpreting business is easy. Next!

5) The Cult - “Fire Woman”

A not-so-subtle jab at Auburn coeds’ sexual proclivities and the inevitable burning sensation that results. A frickin awesome song though. I could easily see Greg Blue ripping one of Kenny Irons’ arms off to this song for the lead-in highlight reel before the second half starts.

6) Ludacris - “We Got”

The Dawgs are from Georgia. Luda is from Georgia. Coincidence? I think not. Oh snap - Snoop Dogg is on this cut too. Dogg… Dawg? Mmm-hmm.

7) DAve Akins - “I Want Your Checks”

Back in the day, Z-93 here in Atlanta had a morning DJ named Randy Miller. One time he did a parody of “I Want Your Sex” by George Michael as if he were Jim Bakker. This is me, 11 years old, doing my version. Really nothing to see here folks - move along.

8) Michael Jackson - “Dangerous”

Um… aheh. The Dawgs are “dangerous”. Michael Jackson likes to touch little boys’ penises. Another way to say “penises” is “cocks”. We need the ‘Cocks to win. And Auburn’s QB’s last name is… Cox. Ha. Two points, me.

9) Guns N’ Roses - “November Rain”

Too damn easy. Game’s in November, and we’re gonna rain some otherwordly death on destruction upon Auburn like ain’t been seen since Sodom and Gomorrah. Also, Axl Rose is a megalomaniacal douche. Like Tommy Tuberville. So there’s that also.

9) Rancid - “The War’s End”

At the war’s end, we will feast on scrumptious tiger entrails, drink hearty grog from their skulls, and crucfify Tuberville upon a metallic pole to improve our satellite-TV reception for ESPN’s glowing post-game fellating of glorious Georgia.

10) Ray Charles - “I Got A Woman”

The song I’ll be singing after the game. Whilst drunk. Running down the halls of Brumby.

That’s it. I’m out. Go Dawgs.

GATA