Friday Random Ten

1. Queen - “I Want To Break Free”

Queen was better when they really rocked (see “Stone Cold Crazy”), but despite the rather keyboard-laden foundation of this tune, it doesn’t detract from the reality that Freddie Mercury, God love ‘im, was a great singer/frontman.

2. Rush - “Freewill”

This is shaping up as Friday Random Ten: Classic Rock Edition. One of the most libertarian songs from the most libertarian lyricists, Neil Peart. See also: “Tom Sawyer”.

3. Eminem - “Mockingbird”

He’s good. Hate him if you want, but he’s good. I prefer his chopping-up-his-mother-and-urinating-on-her-dismembered-pieces stuff to this lovey-dovey tune. But still, he’s good.

4. Laurie Lewis - “The Refugee”

One of those where-the-hell-did-this-come-from? tunes. I have no idea who Laurie Lewis is. Let’s see if allmusic.com can help:

“Laurie Lewis learned to play the violin as a child in the San Francisco Bay Area. As a teenager in the 1960s, she immersed herself in the city’s thriving folk scene and fell in love with the innovative bluegrass of Flatt & Scruggs, the Stanley Brothers, and especially Doc Watson. She won numerous fiddling contests during the 1970s and was in and out of assorted area combos. Together with friend Kathy Kallick, Lewis co-founded the pioneering bluegrass group Good Ol’ Persons in 1975 and remained with the popular group until 1979.”

That doesn’t even come close to explaining how I have this song. It’s kinda a pretty bluegrassy tune, though.

5. OutKast - “Kim & Cookie (Interlude)”

And I quote…

Anncr: And now, kim and cookie.
Cookie: Ring-Ring
Kim: say hello cookie!
Cookie: hello
Kim: girl i got somethin to tell ya
Cookie: spill it girl spill it
kim: remember ol boi, at the club…
cookie: from last night?
kim: last night!
cookie: wassup
Kim: went home with the mothafucka, now i’m thinkin i’m feelin’ to goddamn get my ass to’ up!
background singers: to’ up!
kim: but girl
cookie: what.
kim: dick so short
background singers: short!
kim: came quick, he got his, i ain’t get mines. i’m like fuck!
background singers: fuck!
kim: you know you talkin’ all this goddamn shit and he ain’t shit!
cookie: girl you done got you a mothafuckin minute man!
kim: a minute mothafuckin man
background singers: mothafuckin minute man!
kim: but it’s all good you hear me? cause before i goddamn left this
mothafucka, i hit this mothafucka up for erythang you hear me! i’m talkin bout wallet, i’m talkin bout credit cards, money. and you what i was gona hit him up for his goddamn pistol but i ain’t know how many mothafuckn bodies he had on that mothafucka you feel me!
background singers: i feel ya!
cookie: well it’s allllllll goooooood!
BREAK!

Moving. Truly.

6. Johnny Cash - “Sing It Pretty, Sue”

I couldn’t see myself marrying a celebrity (nor could I see a celebrity marrying me), but after watching “Walk The Line”, I thought “Y’know, I could totally go for that Reese Witherspoon. And Kelly Clarkson. Definitely Kelly Clarkson. I mean, jeez, I watched a 1/2 hour Proactiv infomercial with her in it. That’s gotta mean something, right? Right? OK, inner monologue, here’s where you stop. Thanks.”

7. Smashing Pumpkins - “Hummer”

Huh huh.

“Hummer”.

Heheh.

8. Cake - “Walk On By”

Haven’t heard much from these guys lately. And if their website’s “news” page is any indication, they’re too busy up on their eco-political soapbox to y’know, actually make music. That said, the bit about coffee drinking reducing the risk of cirrhosis is nice to hear. Pardon me, I have to go pour my third cup o’ the mornin’.

9. Cake - “Alpha Beta Parking Lot”

Haven’t heard much from these guys lately. And if their website’s “news” page is any indication, they’re too busy up on their eco-political soapbox to y’know, actually make music. That said, the bit about coffee drinking reducing the risk of cirrhosis is nice to hear. Pardon me, I have to go pour my 8th cup o’ the mornin’.

10. Bob Dylan - “I Shall Be Free”

Paste Music/Magazine recently released their top 100 living songwriters, and to no one’s surprise at all, Dylan was number 1. There were some pleasant surprises making the list, including Andre3000/Big Boi, Nick Cave, Public Enemy.

The Athens, GA connection was well-represented with Drive-By Truckers, Vic Chessnutt, Bill Mallonee (Vigilantes of Love), and some guys named Stipe, Berry, Buck, and Mills.

But alas, Paste. I would be remiss to not mention a glaring omission to your list (not only to your list, but to your reader-submitted top-100 as well. An omission so mind-blowing that I can only assume that since the list is of the greatest living songwriters, you figured he’d be dead before the issue went to print. Don’t underestimate an Irishman, Paste.

I’m speaking of course, of Shane MacGowan. The immortal, the irrepresible, the intellectually stimulating, Shane MacGowan.

Shame, Paste. Shame, shame, shame.

This Top Ten’s for you, Shane.

And All This Time I Thought I Was A Genius (Part 2)

Reinforcing the notion that I am not, sadly, a genius, but that at least one of my friends is…

Meimi, you are a genius. I know because the folks at cuteoverload.com have said so. I had this picture at my desk at work before I lost both the work and the desk that came with it, and I’m pretty sure Amy still has it at her desk at the Atlanta Zoo.

Meims might be the only person I know who can capture hippo-cuteness at one moment then karate-chop your head off the next.

Kudos, Meims.

RIP, Acidman

Damn.

Gutrumbles was one of the first blogs I made a point to read at least a couple times a week, if not more. I’m sure Rob lived a full life, but it wasn’t without its demons. A painful divorce, prostate cancer, long periods of time without seeing his son, a sick mother, and a battle with addiction I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But despite all that (or more accurately, because of all that) he daily posted great profanity-laden, caustic diatribes on everything from cats to diversity (All Hail Diversity!).

I’m gonna have a drink for you at the first Georgia game, Rob.

Cheers.

RIP.

Fark Photoshops From Back In The Day

I used to submit entries to Fark Photoshop contests on occasion, and today I came across this site in my del.icio.us links I had forgotten about. The site has logged every Fark photoshop contest and cached every image submitted for Lord-knows-how-long.

I thought I’d post my favorite submissions here - maybe I should get back into this. It’s not like I have anything better to do.

BTW - Josh from Martians Attacking Indianapolis oughta do this. He did some good ones. I think maybe his ego might prevent him from posting any of his hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha… ahem. Sorry.

Click any of the pics to enlarge.
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And All This Time I Thought I Was A Genius

I was wrong.

Kyle MacDonald is a genius. A genius beyond any genius history has ever bestowed upon us. Albert Einstein? Pshaw. Jonas Salk? Whatevs. Curtis Armstrong? Close, but not quite.

No, as of today Kyle MacDonald is a genius among geniuses. See, he took this plain ol’ standard issue red paperclip and has traded with people in the hopes of one day getting a house out of the deal.

He traded the paperclip for a pen shaped like a fish. He traded the pen for a freaky doorknob. He traded the doorknob for a portable camping stove. He traded the stove for a gas generator. He traded the generator for a neon Budweiser sign and a keg of beer (an instant party). He traded that for a snowmobile. He traded the snowmobile for an all-expenses paid trip to Yahk, British Columbia. He traded the trip for a moving van. He traded the van for one year’s rent at a place in Phoenix. He traded the year’s rent for a recording contract. He traded the contract for an afternoon with freakin’ Alice Cooper. He traded the afternoon with freakin’ Alice Cooper for a KISS snow globe.

Not really a fair trade, that last one. But oh no… turns out Corbin Bernsen is a ha-uge snow globe collector. So Kyle traded the snow globe with Bernsen for a paid, speaking role in his upcoming movie, Donna On Demand. And now he’s taking offers for the movie role, and man, some of the offers are dare I say sa-weeeet.

So kudos, to you, Mr. Kyle MacDonald. And all this time, I thought Canadiens were simple-minded folk who liked beer and said “ey” a lot. Man, was I wrong.

Pop Art Self-Portrait

I found this cool little tutorial (via Photojojo) and decided to try it out.

Yes, that’s me.

Cabin Fever

It’s Hopeless. I Give Up.

I’m never going to fall in love, get married, raise a couple wonderful children, spoil my grandkids or grow old with my ideal woman.

Because if these kids can’t make it, can anyone? I think not.