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November 11, 2005
Your Pre-Tigger-Beatdown Friday Random Ten
Off to Athens in a bit for the game that, by all accounts, determines whether my Dawgs get a shot at the SEC Championship. Interesting thought: we win tomorrow and our remaining schedule for the season could be played out in Athens, Atlanta, Atlanta, and Atlanta, respectively. Lose, and it's probably another Capital One-cum-Outback-cum-Peach Bowl battle against Wisconsin or Purdue. Again.
I was all ready to delve reaaaaally deep into this game, but Doug over at Hey Jenny Slater dropped this post earlier today that easily bests anything I could've laid down in my post-work-pre-game haze. Although "AU: Get Into My Car. Who, AU? Yes AU; Get Into My Car" would've been infinitely funnier as a post title, though not quite as apropros.
Bizzaro weekend in the SEC for sure; We're pulling for Steve Spurrier and Auburn's hoping 'Bama beats LSU. Crazy enough - last thing we need is for Tennessee to have five losses at this point in the season. That would be the seventh sign, for sure.
Oh wait.
Anyhoo, let's see if this Random Ten tells us anything about the weekend ahead and, more importantly, the showdown twixt the Hedges...
1) Yvonne Elliman - "If I Can't Have You"
Um, WTF? I couldn't figure out what this was until I realized it's from the "Big Daddy" Soundtrack which is ripped, in its entirety, to my hard drive. So how does this tie in to the weekend? Eh... it's my love song to bourbon? Sound good? OK, let's go with that. And move on. Skiiiip. *click*
2) The Rolling Stones - "Hold On To Your Hat"
A perfect descriptive term for the game tomorrow. Also, sometimes it gets windy in Sanford this time of year and you might lose your hat. So hold on to it. This Public Service Announcement brought to you by Dave Akins.
3) Elliot Smith - "Needle In The Hay"
Lessee... a pretty talented guy who made the mistake of killing himself. There's a Tommy Tuberville metaphor in there somewhere.
4) Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson - "Folsom Prison Blues"
A tailgate standard pretty much anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon. Could "When I hear that whistle blowin' I hang my head and cry" refer to TT's response to Auburn's 10th false start of the game, due in part to the Sanford crowd? Man, this interpreting business is easy. Next!
5) The Cult - "Fire Woman"
A not-so-subtle jab at Auburn coeds' sexual proclivities and the inevitable burning sensation that results. A frickin awesome song though. I could easily see Greg Blue ripping one of Kenny Irons' arms off to this song for the lead-in highlight reel before the second half starts.
6) Ludacris - "We Got"
The Dawgs are from Georgia. Luda is from Georgia. Coincidence? I think not. Oh snap - Snoop Dogg is on this cut too. Dogg... Dawg? Mmm-hmm.
7) DAve Akins - "I Want Your Checks"
Back in the day, Z-93 here in Atlanta had a morning DJ named Randy Miller. One time he did a parody of "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael as if he were Jim Bakker. This is me, 11 years old, doing my version. Really nothing to see here folks - move along.
8) Michael Jackson - "Dangerous"
Um... aheh. The Dawgs are "dangerous". Michael Jackson likes to touch little boys' penises. Another way to say "penises" is "cocks". We need the 'Cocks to win. And Auburn's QB's last name is... Cox. Ha. Two points, me.
9) Guns N' Roses - "November Rain"
Too damn easy. Game's in November, and we're gonna rain some otherwordly death on destruction upon Auburn like ain't been seen since Sodom and Gomorrah. Also, Axl Rose is a megalomaniacal douche. Like Tommy Tuberville. So there's that also.
9) Rancid - "The War's End"
At the war's end, we will feast on scrumptious tiger entrails, drink hearty grog from their skulls, and crucfify Tuberville upon a metallic pole to improve our satellite-TV reception for ESPN's glowing post-game fellating of glorious Georgia.
10) Ray Charles - "I Got A Woman"
The song I'll be singing after the game. Whilst drunk. Running down the halls of Brumby.
That's it. I'm out. Go Dawgs.
GATA
Posted by DAve at November 11, 2005 06:37 PM
